Living better - Susanne Prosser

How to refresh your relationship and fall in love all over again

There comes a point when everyday life weighs on every relationship. If we get active at exactly this point and refresh our relationship, we’ll be rewarded for it: with the joys of spring just like the first day!

Here are 10 ways to rekindle those sparks and fall in love anew with your sweetheart. Just like it was in the beginning.

1. Write text messages – several times a day

The many emoticons on a smartphone make texting a real experience: just try out writing “Hi, how are you?” or “I love you” or “I can’t wait to see you” – who doesn’t want to receive this? Such texts are especially fitting for partners who have been through an extended emotional “ice age” and reduced communication to what is missing in the fridge or who can pick up the kids.

2. Go on holiday together

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a trip around the world – but a weekend just for the two of you, without the kids and away from the monotony of everyday life, can work small miracles if you want to refresh your relationship. Take a look at what special offers are currently available on bargain portals. Whether it’s a city trip or a wellness weekend – just get away from home and discover something new together, you’ll never forget such experiences.

3. Plan an evening for two

Do you have children? Or a stressful job? Then it will do you good to reserve at least one evening a week just for the two of you. Without delay. You don’t even have to leave the house for this; it’s already enough if the kids are asleep. You could cook together or just sip a glass of wine together, talking to each other by candlelight, with incense sticks and music that emotionally touches you both. You may also want to try out the role play host and hostess: one week he arranges an evening for her, the next week she arranges an evening for him.

4. Fuel desire

If you have the feeling that you and your partner stick together too much, give distance a bit of a try. How about taking some time out with your best friend? Before coming back, desire will have grown for sure – on both sides…

5. Caress each other

It’s not always just about sex. Because often the longing to make love has petered out, with both partners having literally lost each other in everyday stress. Then couple therapists advise couples to get closer again by caressing each other intensively. Important detail: the “hot areas” are to be spared.

6. Make a date

Can you remember the time when you dated each other on the first few times? This phase can be repeated: by dating each other. Because when you meet your partner once again in an “unfamiliar place” and possibly among other people, you will suddenly look at him again from a different perspective. And vice versa! That sloppy-look romance has been left at home, both of you have dressed up for each other in order to spend a beautiful evening together. Many couples also like to play a role game: they pretend that they’re just getting to know each other again.

7. Support each other

Emotional and instrumental support is a strong pillar for a happy relationship. This mutual support helps a lot if you want to reinvigorate your relationship. To what extent do you share your partner’s worries and problems, but also his wishes and desires? And to what extent does he share yours? Once you realise how much you can contribute to love through sympathy and support, you should get started immediately.

8. Strengthen trust

Emotional closeness doesn’t develop automatically, we have to work for it. For instance, by sharing our thoughts with our partner on a regular basis and by listening to each other. Active questioning makes for stimulating conversations that go beyond the weather or media headlines.

9. Have common goals

Many relationships undergo a rupture when the kids are grown up and leave home. It’s as if the couple was missing something – there is no common task left. Then one or both partners often experience a feeling of emptiness that leads to frustration in the relationship. But no matter in what phase two people are, common goals and visions always strengthen their bond. When the kids spread their wings, a new, common project can intensify the relationship if both partners pursue it with passion. This could be a new hobby or perhaps a joint business, allowing a couple to start all over again.

10. Share rituals

Rituals make love strong. What do you enjoy doing together? Many couples have made a habit of enjoying long breakfasts together on Sundays. Whether in bed or in a café – the ritual is always the same. Also evening walks with the dog, a museum visit at the weekend or having a shower together in the evening can be beautiful rituals for you and your partner to connect.

 

As is often the case, in love life too it’s all about wanting. The dream of a relationship remaining rosy until the end of time without any assistance won’t become reality. However, if both partners repeatedly and actively contribute to keeping the relationship intimate, exciting and engaging, there’s nothing to stop the two of you on the road to happiness.

Photo credit: (c) iStock.com/KatarzynaBialasiewicz


The articles in the Instahelp online magazine build on personal stories and experience. We want to give our writers the freedom to express their own thoughts. This means that the articles are an expression of the authors’ own opinions and don’t necessarily reflect the opinions of Instahelp.


Instahelp supports you at difficult times in your life

Online counselling by psychologists


Johannes Lanzinger

M.Sc. Johannes Lanzinger

Clinical and health psychologist

Write what’s bearing down on your spirits.
I’ll support you on your way and I look forward to your message.

Write to me
Show more online psychologists


We’re here for you! ×
Welcome to Instahelp. Do you have a problem to resolve or questions about Instahelp? We’ll be pleased to help.
We look forward to hearing from you and will respond within two minutes.